Guest Blog Post by: Mariane Power, Co-Founder of The Posify Group
When I first learned of self-compassion, I was fearful that it would prevent me from working on my weaknesses. For a long time, I subscribed to the belief system that in order to get ahead in today’s fast-paced and competitive world, I needed to strive, push myself hard and focus in on whatever it was I perceived I should be better at. As a mum of two young children, a small business owner, and full-time student, there was always going to be room for improvement. I had my inner critic working at a full-time capacity, with the belief that if I could pick out my own flaws, I’d somehow beat everyone else from doing the same.
The more I started talking to like-minded women, the more I realised how common our self-talk was. Our goal setting and to do lists were littered with self defeating lists of “could, should, and would haves”. Hearing these women I admired and loved speaking so harshly of themselves seemed counterproductive and quite frankly, cruel. When it comes to our friends, we’re the first to acknowledge their pain, suffering and setbacks, comforting and encouraging them by reminding them of their efforts and strengths. We feel relief when our compassion lands effectively, and we see their spirits lift. So why do so few of us offer the same kindness to ourselves? I came to realise a simple truth. All that criticism and self judgment was slowing me down and getting in the way of being my most productive and flourishing self.
I’m an evidence based kinda gal, and the findings on self-compassion sold its benefits and blew my fears out of the water. Learning to approach our own setbacks with kindness and empathy activates our innate care-giving systems that produce a flow on effect of feel good hormones. The result? Decreased stress and